Wednesday, June 12, 2013


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

BHD's Musings: Memories From More Retired Boots

BHD's Musings: Memories From More Retired Boots: You are seeing the heel of a Corcoran Field Boot. I decided to put these boots on with a pair of tactical police pants last week to see how...

Saturday, April 20, 2013

On Homosexuality versus Gay Identity

This article popped up on FB recently and it basically sums up what I've been saying for years. 
I'd rather be limited to Homosexual or Homophile that have the Gay identity and all its preconceived ideals, ideas & perceptions etc thrust upon my identity. I reject the notion of Gay. I am not gay or a gay, I am however a homosexual homophile.

On Homosexuality versus Gay Identity

by The Men's Club (Notes) on Monday, April 1, 2013 at 8:21am
Homosexual is a purely objective description.
Gay is a label of social identity.
Contrary to popular misconception in modern Western society, the two terms do not mean the same thing.

Homosexuality is the physical -and emotional- attraction to one's own gender. A man may be solely attracted to other men, which makes him strictly homosexual. However, it is very normal for a man who is attracted to the opposite sex to also have homosexual desires.
The term homosexuality is a bit limiting in this sense, because it focuses specifically on sexualattraction or behaviour. Most men, in every culture throughout history, have been predominantlyhomosocial, as the socialization with other men is necessary for a young male to learn the social norms and skills that are appropriate to male identity in any given society. The deep bonds that develop between men in their socialization are often homophile in nature, denoting love between members of the same gender, without necessarily referring to any sexual attraction or behaviour.
In many societies, those institutions deemed most masculine in nature -such as those of the hunter and the warrior or soldier- are those in which men spend nearly all their time socializing uniquely with members of the same sex. It is precisely in these most 'manly' of institutions that homophile relations between men are -or were- most common. This love between men is not necessarily, but may be, of a homosexual nature as well, but one cannot say in all of these cases that the individuals are necessarily strictly homosexual.
Notably among the soldiers of ancient Greece and Rome, it was perfectly normal for men to have amorous relationships with other men, many of whom also had wives at home. Both Alexander the Great and the Roman emperor Hadrian had a wife as well as a male lover. The love between two men was perceived as being of an entirely different nature than the relationship one had with one's wife. In fact, the love for a man was often held to be exalted above heterosexual love, and at the very least certainly never emasculating.

In ancient Greek and Roman society, as well as in many other great civilizations, the accepted social norm for sexual activity by men, was that a man assume a dominant sexual role. Assuming a passive position in sex, ie. allowing one's self to be penetrated, was considered emasculating. Hence, we can safely assume that any sexual activity between male lovers of equal standing would have entailed physical intimacy without either individual assuming a passive role.

The only similarity between ancient Greek or Roman male lovers and gay men in contemporary Western society, is that they are both attracted to men.
The term gay -in its most common modern usage- is not just a modern coinage, but an entirely new form of social identification that has next to no relation to homosexuality found throughout history and in other cultures.
Without even the slightest intention to disrespect anyone who identifies with this term, I feel compelled to state the politically incorrect obvious point that gay identity has created a third gender identity in modern society. Carrying the label gay, means assuming the social role of a psychological intersexual.

To attach the label gay to an historical figure like Alexander the Great or Hadrian, as is now common, is not only misleading because they also had wives, but because the label is inaccurate in describing their sexuality and gender identity, and because they themselves would not have been able in the least to identify with the label.

So too, there are innumerable men in our modern world who have the need and desire to connect with other men on both an emotional and a physical level, but who cannot be considered gay, either because they are also attracted to women, or because they are unable to relate to the unmasculine social role that is integral to gay identity.

Adrian van Liere

Thursday, April 18, 2013


VIDEO | EXCLUSIVE Mykki Blanco ‘Feeling Special’
Get More: www.districtmtv.com

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Recently On Grindr

Where do I start ...
The girlfriends in the pic?
1/2 point for removing the but seriously?
You couldn't find a digital pic of just you to post onGribdr

Wednesday, April 3, 2013


Um on my cum up like samsung
Um so outta this world 
galaxy 3 
so outta this world 
hubble telescope can't see me
I am not a human being 
marveen da marsheen
outta this world 
higher then Charles Sheen 
I am not a human being 
outta this wold saturn rings
they say the best things in life are free
but the best thing in life is me
and umma G-O-D
aint nobody got mo money den me
these MFs worship me
um a fucking star
bitch super nova
when I blast off
interplanetary life
Bow down bitches
um a god
kneel b4 Zod
super man couldn't fuck with me
leave that bitch in a coma
Call me big boss Bitch um bigger den Oprah
get dat geko green
Livin dat lewd life Roman Greko toga
fucks with cholos
don't fuks wit chocha
yes i am bannas
and bang like yellow bandans
Love dem mexicanos
tell dem bros to come ovah
got dat cheech an chong
we can roll it in a blunt
we can smoke it in a bong
all night long
gettin high and coming down
rolla costa
this is our fuckin thing
cosa nostra
poachin pussy
pussy pocha
an i eat i like a vultcha
then i let the homies hit when um finished
don't give a fuk if he's wit it
Um tipin extra if we kin choke ya


He sed daddy can i git da dick
I sed of course
Stay fucking these bitches
fuckin all fours 
Riding dat ass
ride it like a horse
get it 
ass horse 
yeah i know you get 
of course 
but don't let me get off course
stay puttin dat ass
golf course 
piggy love it when um fuckin that ass
especially when he snort 
he like dat freaky deeky 
N i know he sneaky 
thats why I lock up the pussy 
when um on tour 
What you think the cage in da basement 4
you thought i was talking rhymes when i sed 
i got bars
got a whole dungeon to beat that ass
tour chore 
make em see stars 
no telescope 
give me deep throat 
umma fuck it till sore 4 sure

Friday, March 29, 2013

Positive Negative Reinforcement

11:30PM ish I meet this guy on scruff. (I'm visiting my mom during spring break.) we chatted for a couple days intermittently before we get to the good part. His pic is a bit dodgy but clear enough for me to see what he looks like. Bottom line is I'm moving back to town and I'm looking to meet guys in the area. Sex isn't really on my mind but everyone and I mean everyone on Grinder is looking for a hook up. In fact if you follow my tweets you already know recently tweeted a NY Times article"How Grindr Is Changing the Way We Connect". In the article the apps author is quoted saying
"...as much as Grindr is about casual interactions, it is also, at it's core, a social networking application...Mr. Woo said the Grindr survey of its users found that two-thirds of them were using the application to find new friends, to network or to kill time, as well as to hook up", which has always been the basis of my argument that Grinder is not just a hookup app. Otherwise, why include looking for friends relationship network etc?
He later says, "You're putting two people with not a lot in common on a crash course to meet..."
Unfortunately, in the final line of the article Mr. Woo, back pedals a bit, "I joke that the wheel was invented by a gay man so he could get to his hook up faster." ( nyti.ms/Y43qON )
This is why I'm on scruff. It tends to be a friendlier environment and the guys seem less full of themselves. It isn't always about getting your dick out and your nut off. Seriously, I many not be the White Gold Standard but I live in NYC and I'm Phyne, I have a bigger than avg. dick and a high tight bubble ass. I don't need any app to get off.

So I meet this bearish guy.We chat for a bit, now "bear" with me I'm paraphrasing.
Originally he starts off talking about how my pic is scary looking. I tell home I'm truly harmless and a nice guy I use the mad grill pic to ward of douche bags on Grindr. (which I later repeat on the phone)
Me: "Dude you got more pics?"
[Pic snt]
"You are so sexy!"
He: "I am not sexy! You are but I am not."
Me:"Would you let me be the judge of what's sexy or not. I hate those self proclaimed "VGL"/ "sexy" douche bags online. Hello narcissism or in your case insecurity. How do you know that you aren't exactly what I find perfectly sexy? I love all kinds of men."
We chat for a while more. He seemed cool and I asked if he wanted to hang.
"Send more pics I wanna see your body"
"Ok you do the same "
"Whys it do blurry"
"It's compressed I don't have scruff on my iPad so the pic was emailed from my phone. I'll send another"

He said, "If I don't want to hook up are you going to mad"
I'm like, "Dude I think your hot but we don't have to hook up at all. I'm just looking for some company and to meet guys in the area"
He then asked me to wait for his sister to leave. Texting me the whole time for about an hour.
He asks about my location picking me up etc.
"I live on No Bdway where are you?"
"I have a car i can come to you? What do you wanna do?"
bla bla bla
He says his sister is almost leaving then she's left. The next time he texts me its his number I've already texted him mine.
"Oh I'm in the garage... I was driving... Idk if I wanna come out or not."
Idk where he was waiting for his sister to leave from since he gave me the impression he was home now he's riding in the car. But hey benefit if the doubt maybe he ran out for iced cream.
"Well I can come to you if you like do you want company?"

Back and fort we go...

I would have included the actual scruff convo, but by the end of our conversation I was blocked. We also chatted on the phone for a good thirty minutes where he grilled me about this and that. All his questions are about what I like sexually, how big was my dick what like to do with a guy, how often do I jerk off and on and on.
Im like so do you want some company or not?
"Well i gotta take a shower"
"If you must but i don't need you to in fact i prefer you don't"
"I went to the gym i haven't showered since early this am"
(it's nearly midnight )...
"Your totally making my cock hard"
"Yeah you like that"
"And then some"
"I don't really smell though..."
"You may not stink or be offensive but everyone has their own scent. It's up to you but I'd love it if you didn't. It's not like we're having sex or anything8
"So you wanna smell to my sweaty pits?"
"Pits cock balls underwear socks feet!"
"But I don't really smell like that.."
"But like I said I'm really just looking for company of you want I'd be happy to spend the entire time with my face in any one of those sweaty places...
"So what if I want to just watch you jerk off with my sweaty nuts in your face. What if I want you to come strip naked and jerk off..(you will notice much of this is also repeated in our phone text at this point I'm thinking this MF is jerking off right now) Well let me clean up a bit"
"I don't need you to. No judgement."
"Ok I just have some laundry and stuff I gotta put away"
"Send me some more pics..."
So anyway, Here are the screen shots from our phone texts.

[Screen Shots 2 Follow]

Pictures have been altered to protect the guilty.

So now here's the thing. I gave this dude plenty of outs. On the phone and via text. He didn't take them instead he proceeded to try encourage me get him off over the phone. Now if you recall I started off this conversation by saying I'm not looking for sex. Now if you wanna reject me for any reason that's your prerogative. But you must really be smoking that Bobby Brown if you think I'm gonna let you use me to get off.
So as you can see after two hrs of dealing with this cunt I cut to the chase. I notice he promptly disappears from my Scruff messages on my iPad. As you've read I commented via text. So just to be sure I call......
Voice mail
"Impressive dude real mature"
I hang up the rest is in the rest the following screenshots.

Now I should have picked up on his douchebagery with all the send more pics and complaining about the one pic that's slightly blurred in areas(came from my Instagram) when this guy did not send me on clear photo. This is what I get for multi tasking. So here's the other thing. My status is listed in my profile it gets removed from time to time the biohazard that's on my stomach above my navel is clearly visible in several of the pics in my scruff profile. I've been POZ nor more than half my life time I have a fucking biohazard on my belly. I think it's needless to say I'm pretty upfront about my shit. If you happened to miss all that and ask I'm pretty upfront about my shit. Why is it necessary to bitch out and suddenly stop responding or block me because I'm not trying to be your cum rag or phone sex operator after you've decided I'm not fit to meet you because of my status. Im a big boy and after half my life being POZ, + my whole life being brown, I think I can handle a little rejection. It's about 3:15 as I'm wrapping this article up. This dude wasted two and a half hours of my time bullshitting. But didn't have the balls/ respect to respectfully decline and when he didn't get what he wanted he threw a tantrum. Then when I mention adding his ass to my blog suddenly he remembers how to text. Additionally, saying that I'm threatening him LOL.and to remove all posts etc I hadn't even written the the article yet.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


i arrived at his apt and hour late. i like to keep the bitches waiting
the doorman was expecting me. i had told him to let the door man know his Master would be coming to punish his bitch ass and to give a description of me. He must have thought the bitch was joking, i could see the look of horror on his face as he saw a booted skinhead entering the rotating glass doors of this luxury building. He quickly collected himself as he seemed to recall my bitches instructions and description. He smiled a tooth smile and said Oh! you must be the Master.. go right on up...{pause} Sir. It tickled me that he called me Sir. I nodded to him and proceeded to the lift. His eyes never left me even as the doors to the lift closed. i pushed pH and entered the code.
The door was unlocked as i had in instructed. a single candle pierced the darkness. his shadowy figure knelt naked with his back to me. i stood in the doorway a moment and pushed the do shut. He gasped in anticipation.

he sat there in the center of the empty room motionless on his hind quarters arms behind his back. No doubt he had remained this way for at least an hour and a half. I let me eyes adjust. i approached him silently. As I came closer I could see the base of the massive dildo buried deep within him glistening in the candle light. Next to him a lie hood and a bucket of boy butter. i was pleased to see he was open ready. I had no intention of fucking him. I don't fuck slaves. They aren't worthy of my cock. From behind, I secured the hood over his with lock and key. His breathing deepened and hastened his ass began to tremble around the gargantuan slab of fleshy rubber that invaded him. I slowly unzipped my bleachers and released my cock and balls. His breathing hastened still. My balls churned as my cock began to lengthen. I could feel the piss deep within. His breathing was now fast and shallow his chest heaved his whole body ripe with anticipation.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Untittled Twitterration

Dude say he like twinks
IdC what he thinks 
2much sugar 
2many Finks 
I like grown men 
Hard like Brinx 
Hairy woodie l
ike a wookie 
No jajaBinx
No hello kitty 
No think pinks 
Like em rude n crude 
LewdLife inc 
No girly Attitudes 
No shaved skins 
Like minks 
Str8 2 the point 
No sly winks
No side winks 
Only let em in
if dey like kink 
Str8 hair curly hair 
SnM Up n here 
when we lewd-life-ing 
No boy bands 
No NSync
No J Timberlake 
No Nick Lachey 
No Justin Jef-fre 
Throwing dick my way 
Or pen-e-tra-ting 
PAs all the way 
No PA 
Parental Avisor-rey 
UM on fire 2nite 
MFs need2 retire 2night 
MFs gon call me Sire 2nite 
I aint huffin 
I aint puffin 
On dey knees blowin 
Is where dey goiN 2night

Peter Pandrew: Andrew Cristi's New Book

Avocate Interview:

Did Peter Pan Inspire This Gay Prostitute Turned Novelist?


I can't say that I have read the book. However, I've know Andrew Cristi since 2010. I also have followed him on FB. I first met him in a Statistics for Behavioral Sciences course in college. I'd just started a twitter account and tweeted a photo of him. It was my first photo tweet, subsequently deleted. We hung out a bit after class and visited the campus queen club. Little did I know what I was in for.  He's smart funny and yes Narcissistic and that's just the beginning. I often found myself agreeing with much of his rants, until so often he took a left turn off a cliff. It's the context and the interpersonal relations that drove me mad when dealing with him. He was abrasive, brutally honest, and very much full of him self to the point of delusion. Finally, After a FB "fight" if you will, I threw my hands up in the air and wrote him off. Then I wrote an article about it "The Truth About Andrew Cristi". I never did publish it though. I wasn't surprised however, when I got the call or text rather, requesting to do a photo shoot for the Advocate article. We'd scheduled shoots in the past, but lets just say they never came to fruition. He told me it was for a book he'd written. My initial though was OMG I can only imagine! 50 Shades of Andrew! As he described the books subject matter, I have to say I was impressed with his honesty and openness about his personality disorders. So much began to make sense. As a psych major this only confirmed and rather contextualized my every suspicion, the experience that I had with him and what so man others have described.
Weather this is another attention seeking hustle and he's using him self due to his own smug sense of self importance or born of benevolence, doesn't matter. If you know Cristi, the book lends insight to understand him. Perhaps not every one w/ the same conditions, but it definitely brings clarity to his murky personality and the AC experience. Everyone that I know who knows him agrees this may not necessarily be akin to Hemingway's memoirs. He may not be the best writer, but they all agree that it is indeed honest. I never though I would be coming to his defense, but like him or his book or not, how many people are willing to put their true personalities (fallacies and all) out there for the world to scrutinize?

Monday, February 25, 2013

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Burn a Better man

Friday, February 15, 2013

Like da ball
Wen it go swoosh
N it fall out
I don ball
I ball out
Dat mean
I go all out
Like when um balls deep
Diggin it all out

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Thursday, February 7, 2013

I run this shit
This is my fuckin ship
Don't even trip
I crack the whip
He FUK wit me
N I crack his hip
Wen we cut like nip

Tuesday, February 5, 2013



Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Running Through The Darkness: Draft

Runnin through the darkness
From a creature fierce and heartless
Yet can a slave escape his harness
Insecure cuz he didn't have a father
To raise em up and push em farther
Found out what it is to be a man by his uncles back hands
and clothed fist
Temperamental bitch
Out Of Control
Called him faggot
8years old
Didn't even what a faggot is
But he knew just what to do
When they shot that bitch
Blew out his intestines
He was the one that pushed them back in
Calmed the screaming queen and cousins
Got the car keys and tried to minimize the bleed from him

Running thru the darkness
A bit more secure
broke the chains
But Still the clamp remains
The links click clink in sync with the heart that pounds and races
The in and out of breath up and down of the chest as he paces
Then stops
Turns around
Fear he faces


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I beat a bitch down 4 stepping outta place
When I piss
Make him hold my dick
Prison bitch
Choke a bitch out
Drop the soap poke a bitch out
Have MFs like Yoko screamin Oh No
Now imagine this Me in Paris
Chillinin in the Hilton with an heiress
Screamin FTW IDC cuz Um careless